The Wall

Today’s Numbers: Nancy's Days Run: 135 Nancy's 2014 Mileage: 647.4 Elly's 2014 Mileage: 292 Money Found For Food Bank: $43.56

Okay, so yesterday, I hit it again: The Emotional Wall.

I used to hit it often when I first started running. Every bit of self doubt and negative self-talk and destructive opinion about my ability to -- or even my very participation in -- running was always front and center to the point I know I used to spend more time fighting my brain than I did my body. It took more than a year to quiet those voices and make them mere whispers. Frankly, I've not heard much from them in quite some time.

Then, yesterday, it all came screaming at me like a freight train. And, in an instant, I wondered what the point of my running was, why was I bothering and what does it all matter anyway. In that instant, I just wanted to bag it altogether, and put it behind me.

After allowing myself to feel what I was feeling, I did an intentional shift the other direction, and I thought of all of the positives. From health benefits to shiny medals, I thought of it all and threw in some personal accomplishment for good measure. The pros quickly outweighed the cons, and I decided it was all worth it after all.

Why this happened really makes no difference, but I think it's important to admit seeing as I spend a lot of time and energy talking about how this gig can be positive and fun. That has never meant it is all positive nor that it's all fun. It has only meant that that's how I've chosen to look at it. Isn't that how so much of life is anyway?

So, this morning, I got up, laced up and headed out. I left a disappointed someone behind ...

"I hit an emotional wall today, too, mommy. It's just one I
can't really control. *sigh*"

... because even that early in the morning it was, like, a gazillion degrees. I ran my route, I scored some change, and I chalked up another successful start to another great morning.

Like everything else, this isn't always fun. But, it is always, always worth it.

When you hit that wall in whatever you are doing, hold on. Take a deep breath, step back, and remember why you embarked in the first place. That should help relight the fire! And, for all of the good this morning's run was, well, guess what tomorrow already is ... REST DAY!! I'll see you from there!