The Thoroughly Examined Life

I know I don't have to tell you IT'S THE WEEKEND ... but, it's such a good thing, so why not shout it out?!

While I've been out running, I've also been doing a lot of thinking (sometimes whether I want to or not) particularly since the emotional emancipation I went through a few weeks ago, and I landed on a theme that has negatively permeated my life since ... well, since forever. And, that theme has been fear of loss, big or small. I'd go into the particulars of what that means, but that's not really the point.

I bring this up because, as I examine the many ways I have allowed this fear to impact my life, I see different ways I have held myself back. Again, the particulars honestly don't matter because they apply to me as an individual. But, I think we can all relate to having an negative undercurrent we're so used to that we accommodate it rather than change it. It becomes the reason we behave certain ways in certain situations. It's the excuse to not do something/put ourselves out there/not try without knowing or giving our capabilities a try. It becomes part of who we are even though it's not at all who we want to be.

In summary: It's so very icky.

I'm thankful to see in myself that I've managed to whittle this lifetime pattern into a topical situation where certain people and situations are the triggers and not life itself. This didn't happen magically; it came about from spending a lot of years dissecting what's working in my life and what's not. Brining this issue down to certain topics has certainly left room for an otherwise very full and blessed life of relationships and experiences. But, I can't deny it still exists within me, and the residuals of it have just got to go. So, I've been doing a lot of mental and emotional work this month to finally flush that fear out of me.

I know I'm making progress, but I know I have a lot of work to do. And, that's okay so long as I keep moving forward ...

I'd give you a picture of Elly bounding like that, but the girl
doesn't tend to bound toward anything. She's all about wagging
like a maniac, though ... (pic from To Save a Life Facebook page)

I will be moving forward in the morning with a short run! Man, it's gonna be a gross one ... tune in tomorrow to hear me complain tell you all about it! In the meantime, don't be afraid (ironic) to hit your own obstacles head on! Believe when I say how much better it feels to thoroughly examine your life than to just let it keep happening to you ...

'See you after the morning run!