Guts and Goals

My 5th grade teacher was a runner. If memory serves, he was a marathoner.

Right after the holidays that year, he invited anyone in our class who would like to run the upcoming St. Patrick's Day 5K with him to gather so he could give us the details and forms to take home to our parents. I was one of the first to sit on the floor in front of him because this sounded fun!

And, by "lived in the world for a while," I mean, "Had class
with a chump."


The only thing I remember about that group meeting, though, was when Keith G. -- who was a total, smart-mouthed turd all the time  but thought he was hilarious all the time -- looked at me and laughed at the fact that I wanted to do it. I was bigger than most every kid in my class (seeing as I was full grown by the next year, that makes physiological sense, but it does not make kid sense. Oh, and kids are mean.), so I did not present the expected lean, mean, running machine physique. And, Keith G. let me know it in that circle surrounding our teacher. And, I did not attend any more 5K meetings much less participate in the run.

I'm pretty certain that's what sealed the deal for me for a few decades that running was not for me.

I'm also pretty certain that the only reason I kept at it once I put it into my life -- once the novelty of it keeping Elly's toenails trimmed passed -- was because I set very specific goals. Mine happened to be distance goals. And, while I'd once been told and believed I didn't belong in the running world, I got old enough to let my own determination trump someone else's meaningless opinion.

I will be the first to admit when I started running at age 39 -- which is the age when it actually stuck after a few previous failed/bailed upon attempts -- that Keith G.'s nasty voice and squinty-eyed grin were in my brain. I'm not sure if it was his voice or the negative opinions I'd adopted myself that were louder, but, I'm happy to say I had a goal on which to focus that pushed Keith G.'s voice out of my head pretty early on. My own took a little longer to quiet down and turn positive, but it finally did.

The beauty of the music that comes out of this moment
does not happen by accident ...

Do you ever stop and think of the things you never tried or quit doing or muddled through in a substandard manner because of something someone else said? And, if it isn't bad enough that we ascribe to these outside opinions as a kid, so many of us carry and bring them front and center as adults.

What a bunch of crap.

I thought about this moment of my world -- the one where I quietly walked away from the 5K meeting hoping no one would notice I was no longer in attendance -- as Aaron and I recently interviewed a music teacher for one of our kids. Thread throughout her words was the importance of the student having a goal, any goal, as long as there is something to work toward to make the effort matter.

Guts + Goals = THIS.

And, that made me think of both of my kids and the many successes they have had in their young lives. Every success, every one of them, happened when there was a goal in mind. Something measurable that matters to them. Something they can define and articulate as succeeding. Something at which they worked and didn't just happen upon. That's when I see the twinkle in their eyes ... and, their hunger for what's next ...

I've always known the goals they set always have to be theirs. So, that makes my job with Aaron to be the ones to support their efforts and not decide for them what they could, should or can't do. That part's up to them. We are there to keep theirs doors open so they can experience and decide for themselves which to keep open and which to close. And, we love them through every door they experience no matter what they do with it.

Keith G. didn't need to love me through anything. But, it would have been nice if he had kept his damned mouth shut.

Today's lesson is brought to you by the following sentiments:

• Be your own best friend. Cheesy but true.
• Make sure you are always saying nice things to yourself. You can be honest with yourself without being mean.
• Surround yourself with people who support you even if they don't get or want to participate in what it is you take on (most of my friends think distance running sucks, but, man, can they cheer!).
• Set a goal. A measurable goal. That helps the focus.
• Did I mention be your own best friend? There are too many Keith G.'s in the world. You don't need them.

With that, I go forth with a very busy day, and I'll check in from tomorrow's Rest Day!

Take that to anyone who thought I could
not do this ... especially used-to-be me!