Oh, Yes You Can

I had a conversation with a man this morning that made my eyes pop wide open. The short of it is that many years ago, he was directly told that not only was his career choice a mistake but that he also would never make it in the field if he chose to pursue it. Someone who was supposed to be a mentor to him said those words: You will never make it. (nice mentor!) Of course, I was all put out on his behalf which really wasn't necessary because he was standing there in his chosen field clearly having made it.

It made me think of the many stories I've heard about or experienced being told in some way we're "not good enough to (fill in the blank)". In my quick mental scan, I thought about how often (not always, I get that) so many of those stories turn out where the statement becomes motivating and, ultimately, that negative nellie is proved wrong. It seems when we have something to prove to someone else, many times, we can dig deep and do so.

Then there's the flip side -- when we tell ourselves we can't do something. That seems much more universally difficult to overcome. For me, just three years ago, the only negative voice I really had to conquer with regard to running was my own. Oh my gosh, I was so mean to myself! So hard, so hateful. I was so hard on myself that I actually had to break the running process down into steps that included, "Rule number one: You have to be nice to yourself." I'm totally serious. That was the first order of business.

I know I'm not alone in the negative self-talk experience. And, that is really sad. Whether that negative self talk is about running or any other activity makes no difference. I just hate that it exists to the degree I know it does for far too many people.

I'm sure a big part of why we are so hard on ourselves has to do with comparing ourselves to others --a frustrating practice in which so many of us engage. To that, I offer the following statement I heard in a motivational speech years ago: "When you compare yourself to someone else, someone is going to lose." Too true.

Running for me holds so many kinds of victories, but you will note that none of them have to do with crossing the finish line first. In fact, that is likely never, ever going to happen (unless it's decades from now under an age-group category when they put everyone "70 and up" together. And I'm 85. Even then, I may not be first, but I will have kept going.). My biggest victory in running is very likely the turning around of my own self talk. And that spills right in to the rest of my life and my outlook on what's possible.

It was a bigger challenge than I care to remember to turn the talk around. But it was worth it. I challenge you to do the same. Start small if you need. Require that you say one nice thing about yourself every day. Focus it on a particular challenge or just in general to start your day. It sounds cheesey, I know. But, it matters. I never want to return to the point where I tell myself I'm not good enough for anything, no matter how big or small. That's a challenge I don't ever need again.

Besides, I have other challenges in the world I can do nothing about ... like how the big shift to LED lights leaves many of us with Christmas decorations that don't fit around the LED bases:

Good thing I have retained some old-school light strands because
these little guys are fabulous!

Take some mental time for yourself, and remind yourself of your gifts. See you after the morning run!