The Good In the Bad

Today’s Numbers: Nancy's Total Movement Mileage: 245.1 (running: 215.9; walking: 5; biking: 24.2) Elly's miles: 105.8  Money Found For Food Bank: $44.31

When someone you know (my Dad in my case) has a degenerative disease, there's going to be a day you get information about its progression that you knew would come, but knowing it's coming doesn't take away the fact that it comes at you like a truck. Wednesday was that day for me, so, yesterday was spent literally resting. I either worked on sorting out my brain, or I was asleep. And, that was Thursday.

I'm better today, more out of necessity and desire than actual feeling, but the mood only added to my already foul mood about this morning's 12 miler. I never ... and, I mean never ... enjoy this training run. I mean, it's an awfully long way to really go nowhere at all. It's a totally necessary evil as it most definitely gets me ready for the big run. And, after the big run, I get prizes and family hugs, so there's certainly merit in investing in these 12. But, I still don't like it. At all.

So, in a colder-than-the-end-of-March-should-be morning, I took my sorry butt to the streets, and I got my run on.

Physically, this run didn't tax me until I was almost at Mile 11, so that was good. But, mentally ... damn ... mentally it was something else. I could more than deal with being cold for the first five miles (still seeing my breath at Mile 4 ... brrrr ...). I still had many issues running around my brain, so I was more than taxed in that department long before I realized it was Mile 4, and I should not be seeing my breath anymore. I did get some reprieve seeing some awesome critters now and then:

It won't be long before I'm sure there will be a whole family
here! And, that will be the day I have to round the lake with
a bit of caution!

Okay, not a critter, but critter tracks. In the cement. You don't
see that every day! And, can't you just see (what I believe was)
the raccoon? It unwittingly scampers around only to get to the
other side of the freshly poured sidewalk and is all, "Crap! My
feet!" and is then doomed to dried cement on its feet forever.

Somewhere between Miles 8 and 9, the crappy part of my Dad's situation just came down on me. I partly attribute that to the fact that Miles 8 and 9 on this length of run tend to suck anyway, so why not just put it all together ... I forced my thoughts from sad to throwing them to God, all but begging him to just take them from me because I still had a good distance to go and was not okay with doing so that mentally heavy. Thankfully, negatives turned into truly joyful thoughts and memories, and I carried on. Well, let's face it, He carried me on. And, I was grateful. It is never bad to ask for help.

The end of the run was decent -- I did well almost all the way to the 11th mile, but the last little bit of that one started to hurt. And, the very last mile is always the most difficult for me especially when my training run stretching is total nonsense compared to what I actually need, so the end was just predictable. And, I was very okay with it!

I appreciate the requirement of the run to make sure I got out and kick started my day. It was nice to accomplish something. And, it was a good time to reflect and think even when it was difficult. Even within those things that are very hard can be found very, very good.

And, tomorrow, I run with one of my very favorite people ...