Lean In

There has been a consistent message running through my head lately: Lean In.

It started very innocently when I was out running with Elly the other day. She got so scared of a passing truck that she jumped from my left to my right in a very scared, single, sideways bound. She was like a bunny rabbit bounding for its life, only she went sideways.

There are times her scaredy pants annoys me, and then there are the others when I know I need to stop what I'm doing, and lean in to give her some love.

It's always better when I stop. I'm just fessing up that I don't always do it.

Then, there was this other time this week when there was a big disagreement between myself and one of the young Crewers. At a turning point in the conversation, things would have gone well had this Pit Crewer stopped and leaned forward, ready to listen. Instead, out of frustration (read: not yet old enough to have an entire skill set from which to pull), the choice was to give in to frustration.

I understood it. It was fight or flight, and the immediate reaction was to flee. That's called 'autopilot' when we're young. Later that day, when we could talk and heal, I noted, "When you are frustrated and don't feel like you really understand the other person or even what to do yourself, the first move should be to lean in."

And, then there's the upheaval on the MU campus that has made national news. I've spent a lot of time processing it and trying to make as much sense of all of it as I can. Aside from some logistical issues I think are not getting the attention (or action) they need, the common denominator I see is that no one is listening to anybody. At all. No one seems to be leaning in far enough, nor willing to take the required time, to even begin the process of healing and creating a better community. There's so much I'm-right-you're-wrong on all sides; it's very, very sad.

Do I have the solution to that situation or the others that are starting to pop up across the country's campuses? I surely don't. But, I am confident it begins not from taking a hard-lined stance on any side of the issue. I think the place to start is by facing each other -- as difficult as it may seem or as uncomfortable as it may feel -- and leaning in when starting the process to make something better than it is.

That's just how I see it.