Our Gift

It's time to wrap this up. I tried in the Summer to do so. And, I tried once since then. I still think about doing so every morning I'm out exercising Chance, but I seem to forget, convenient or not, by the time I'm home. But, now, it's time.

We lost our sweet Elly in June.

Besides the running, Elly was hands-down the sweetest creature ever. She embodied peace in our household. She was loyal. She loved, and she loved to be loved. She gave everything she had to all of us. Always.

Perhaps I've not finished this until now because there aren't even enough good words to capture everything she was to us. My heart knows how it still feels, but my brain has difficulty producing worthy words.

As a tribute to our girl, Pit Crew #2 created this blanket for me:

It tells such a wonderful story of a beautiful life.

Adopting Chance at the time we did was really a testament to how much Elly gave to us. The very idea of losing that was more than I cared to bear. And, continuing to learn about who he is sparks a number thoughts about Elly I'd either forgotten or not really realized. For instance, because of his seemingly ridiculous fear of bicycles when we first got him made me remember how afraid Elly was of dried leaves as they blew or crunched on the street. And, his anxious nature made me realize how assertive she was -- a characteristic not ever really noted as she was nothing but sweet and submissive to the four of us.

Remembering is good.

Elly was love. I treasure every memory. What a gift to have had her.

Chance

Meet Chance.

He's happy to be home.

* * *

I have a theory about the creatures around us. I developed it when the kids were really little, and I'd watch them "experiment" with bugs. They were so, very intrigued by them that those little bugs would get poked and prodded and manhandled beyond their little bug capabilities to survive sometimes. It was through these interactions that I taught the kids life things. None was necessarily profound, but those moments served as a way for the kids to learn something about other living things without actually hurting someone. It was then I thanked God for those very creatures that often annoy. This certainly isn't the reason for the existence of bugs we learn in our science classes, but I don't find their purposes to be mutually exclusive. So, I embrace both.

Since then, I started to look at all creatures in new ways. And, when we got Elly, there was no doubt in my mind that she was with us for big reasons. Like I stated yesterday, she literally changed the trajectory of my health and well being. She also is the one whose pace I followed to train to run beyond 5 miles. I even remember the run where I realized her role. I'd just been talking to God saying (whining), "I don't get why I don't know what to do to get better!" which is the same moment when I looked down and saw Elly plodding along happy as a clam to just be going. She'd go for as long as I let her, and she was perfectly pleased to do so no matter how long it took. In that moment, I realized I'd been given the very trainer I needed.

I'm in a slice of my life right now where I'm investing a lot of my time and energy into things I cannot change for the better. And, some of those things involve considerable, impending loss. It's a very difficult emotional place to be. I have been praying about it a lot, though, and I recently came to the peaceful conclusion that it would be okay to start investing in something that has wonderful potential to change for the better. I realized my heart has the capacity to welcome it, and I have it in me to handle it. I talked to Aaron about it, and he, too, was on board. 

We found him last night, and he won my heart immediately.

And, we named him Chance.

Aaron and I found him at the Humane Society yesterday evening, and I immediately fell in love with him. He's 13 months old possessing a wonderful case of being an unspecified Pound Hound. He's chock full of energy, and he exhausted me today introducing him to Elly and the kitties and to his new surroundings. This is a transition that could have been terrible, and it went pretty okay! We have a long way to go, but it was a good start! He is lightening fast when running around the backyard, and we're working on walking on the leash. Currently, he's exhausting in that regard, but he has already shown promise. Seeing the investment build, for as completely whipped as I am here at the end of the day, is worth the work!

He'll be worth it. He already is.

Welcome to the family, Chance!❤

Changes

I know. It's been quite some time ...

It's been almost a year since my last entry, and, even then, I knew I was running out of steam. I'd been with this running gig for about 8 years, and I was tired. Of course, that wasn't really about running at all.

Without recalling the details, I remember it being readily apparent that something had to give. I was perpetually just stretched razor thin mentally and physically, and, I knew I needed a break from something. The only option of what to cut out of my day at that time was running. My loss from running was my gain for a little more sleeping.

And, I took it. I took it hard core.

I meant to just take about a month to recoup figuring I'd get back in the swing when school rolled around. Long story short: Between July and December, I dabbled in a few jogs, and I walked a bit, but, really, I sat out while getting the other details in my life under better control. I'm not going to lie: I totally enjoyed the sleep.

Somewhere around the same time the calendar turned, I got back into it. But, I signed up for a Half Marathon to make sure I'd stick with it.

To say that my first few runs felt like I'd never before run is an understatement. I didn't use it, so I most certainly did lose it. *sigh* The only difference between starting up running this time and back in 2008 was that, this time, I already knew I could do it and just had to get there again. 

During training, I capitalized on my 6-mile training run to earn a 10K medal with Elly.

It was tough, but we did it. Together. Like it's been for a long time. She's been running with me for 9 years ... hell, she's the very reason I started running in the first place ... and, I knew, with her turning 10 just around the corner from this run in April that her long distance days were likely retired. And, I was okay with that.

I was not okay with what we recently learned.

About a month ago, we noticed a significant, sudden drop in Elly's weight. She'd dropped weight last year, but she maintained the drop. This was different. A check and testing showed that she has chronic kidney disease. The original suspicion before blood work but after an xray was that she had late-stage liver cancer. But, that wasn't the diagnosis. Chronic kidney disease, liver cancer, tuh-may-toe, toe-mah-toe. Seriously. The difference is somewhat moot.

*sigh* and *dammit to hell*

Very suddenly, as in, that very day, Elly's normal walking-for-fun days ended. Just like that. Never mind running, we were directed to take her no more than a mile, if she can walk that far, at her pace in the most ideal weather. The problem is the kidney disease makes it very difficult for her to eat which means she has no reserves to burn while exercising. So, she has shifted to relaxing inside and eating whatever will go down and stay down. Her diet is to consist of low protein, high carbs. And, wouldn't you know, it's almost impossible to get carbs in her. Proof she's no human.

After a few weeks, multiple trials, more errors than successes and a lot of tears, we seem to have found things she likes and will stay down. And, just last week, we started adding Pedialyte to her water which has definitely helped with her alertness. It's one of the most heartbreaking experiences I have ever had not being able to do anything to make it better.

What has helped her is her overall health, and that is in large part due to her lifetime of running. The vet who diagnosed her noted that she's in excellent health but for the genetic problem that can't be cured. So, there you go. It's one of those things where we did everything right, and it doesn't ultimately matter in terms of keeping her forever like we would if we could. (insert multiple naughty words here)

Our girl after an overnight receiving IV
fluids to help what she'd lost. The nerve
of not giving her a purple wrap. Just sayin'.

Elly has not just been my every day companion, but she most literally changed the trajectory of my own health and well being. She is the reason I ran in the first place, and she is the reason I continued in the beginning when I didn't want to. Running has been our thing. I didn't really even get to ease her out of it like I thought I would. I thought we'd earn that last, longer-distance medal and giggle a little while running two or three miles for the next couple of years. I'd be all, "Hey, Elly, remember when ..." and she'd glance sideways at me with her tongue out having no idea what I said but smiling in agreement just because she heard my voice. I pictured that we'd walk together. I pictured time to wind it backward from how far up we'd gone. 

Instead, it just -- ended. 

Going out to run anymore has, quite literally, lost a very big meaning for me. My heart aches when I step out the door, and it's something I work to get past while I'm out there.

I did manage to finish the recent Half Marathon ...

... and, I am as tired as I look. It was pretty rough. Training wasn't awesome as I missed a number of short runs, the humidity sucked, and I was emotionally spent. That saying about making sure you "leave it all on the route" crossed my mind en route which is the same time I said to myself, "Bullshit, I left it all on this past semester." The four weeks leading up to this run included Elly's diagnosis to punctuate a helluva few months. I was proud of the finish because, if predicting a finish by how January through May went, that finish should not have happened. 

So, here we are. The Half was a week ago (just a week ago?), and I took the week to recoup, start summer schedules with everyone and reset my own brain in terms of what I want to make of this running thing. It's hard to come up with a plan, though, as even thinking about it without a four-legged running pal just makes me ache.

Elly is to the point that she doesn't expect to leave the house with me. It's really sad for me even though I should probably feel comforted that it's not a priority for her anymore. She seems just fine about it. What do I know, but I think she's fine. I know she's happy to see me when I return. That's probably more important anyway. I try not to impose on her my own thoughts. I keep trying to remind myself she is a dog and doesn't process like humans.

It's not comforting, though. That's how it is when the human brain is more complex than the dog's ...

Elly's shift into what are clearly her twilight days has left an incredible hole in me. In no way is she ever, ever going to be replaced. That's not even possible. So, there's no reason to think that that's the idea when I introduce somebody tomorrow ...

Dressed For Success

Today’s Numbers: Nancy's Total Movement Mileage: 433.5 (running: 360.1 walking: 34.8; biking: 36.2) Elly's miles: 182.3  Money Found For Food Bank: $55.69

Summer 2016 Ultimate Pool Volleyball Championship - Best of 101:

Me: 22 Pit Crew #2: 13

The weather is making advancement of the volleyball championship very, very difficult. However, it is making for pretty sweet running weather. I wouldn't complain at all if the pool were available year-round!

 

Regardless of the weather, here's a Happy Fourth of July to you!! I think this is the year that some of our traditions will go to the wayside while others remain in tact such as this one ...

Mmm ... rainbow jello ...

Pit Crew #2 and I also carried on with our plans to run. I'm pretty sure we would have run even if it hadn't been on the calendar to do so because it's important to don the festive headwear when the opportunity presents itself:

More miles and more found money started the day. BOOM. No holiday pun intended.

Dare To Dream Virtual 10K Day!

Today’s Numbers: Nancy's Total Movement Mileage: 429.2 (running: 355.8 walking: 34.8; biking: 36.2) Elly's miles: 182.3  Money Found For Food Bank: $55.09

Summer 2016 Ultimate Pool Volleyball Championship - Best of 101:

Me: 22 Pit Crew #2: 13

In unheard of news, the forecast of rain did not make me waiver one, itty bitty little bit as to whether or not Pit Crew #2 and I would run our virtual 10K today! With showers predicted sans thunder and lightening, it just didn't matter. I wanted to go!

 

My decision was based on a few factors. First, scheduling a new calendar item right now makes me want to pull my hair out. So, if it's on the calendar and can stay, it stays! Second, it's not like our training has been super stellar given the heat wave. Putting the run off for better conditions not only likely wouldn't matter in terms of performance, but, let's face it, we could find ourselves in something much worse. I have definitely grown to take rain over heat + humidity!

 

So, this morning with rain coming down a half hour before predicted (yeah, I know ...), we were up and at it!

Fortunately, we both have fab hats to keep the water from continually running over our eyes! The hat is the key to rain running success!

This is a good time to mention it was also 66 degrees out. Being wet in 66 degrees would normally be quite chilly, but the running took care of that.

We did well, too, especially for really crappy training. PC#2 had to tie her shoes a couple of times at Mile 2. I reminded her she is to choose more optimal stopping spots -- like when we're in the middle of a hill looking for just the right excuse to blow the rest of it off. But, she chose the flat stretches, whatever, and we ran up every hill. I was quite pleased we could given past and current conditions.

I realized a little more than half way through the run that PC#2 wasn't even attempting to avoid puddles and gutter rivers.

That puddle is nothing of what our feet found along the way!

Now, it's not like our feet were dry, but it didn't occur to me to not avoid what I could. I found enough puddled that I didn't see coming ... She said she liked running through them, so that worked really well in terms of the sides of the shoulder on which we preferred to run. It's the little things that add up to being a great team!

Only about 5 minutes later than we would have finished with better prep, we arrived at our finish! It was time for some bling ...

Check out the glitter! WooHoo, GLITTER on the BLING!

I'm so glad we just committed and did it! It was a good experience together! I'd never shared a run in the rain except with Elly. And, Elly doesn't really like it so much. And, she smells way worse after!

It's time to relax a bit! We rest tomorrow! Have a great rest of the long weekend, and we'll check in!

Catching Up

Today’s Numbers: Nancy's Total Movement Mileage: 423 (running: 349.6 walking: 34.8; biking: 36.2) Elly's miles: 182.3  Money Found For Food Bank: $55.07

Summer 2016 Ultimate Pool Volleyball Championship - Best of 101:

Me: 20 Pit Crew #2: 13

Hey, so, it's pretty cool that not only have I not managed to catch myself up in my own journaling this week, but I also just logged in to find I drafted my last entry instead of publishing it. Nice!! Oh well. I will look back on these entries one day and think, "Yeah, that looks about right. That was a pretty messy time!"

 

While I never have total control over my Summer schedule (ha!! That's an understatement!), I'm managing to keep my head well above water. So, I call that a victory. This week in particular, I even navigated situations where those in customer service weren't so serviceable to the customer because they couldn't think outside of their teeny, tiny thought boxes to solve a problem. And, I've done so without any sort of combustion, external or spontaneous. Let's thank the power of prayer and pool therapy for coming through those ordeals! Speaking of the pool, check out the tournament status! I'm not quite sure how I'm pulling that off, but I like it!

 

So, through it all, Pit Crew #2 and I have kept our running schedule going to get ready for tomorrow's virtual 10K! This week's weather finally afforded us some breathability, so we again feel able to run the distance. Last week, that idea was in question for both of us!

 

We went out on Wednesday afternoon when it seemed rather mild all things considered. By the time we hit the mile and a half point, BAM. We were HOT.

There's PC#2 taking advantage of my new water bottle! I just bought it the day before, and it needed a test run. One of my current ones sucks because the stopper doesn't want to open to, you know, let us drink. I've tolerated it for years and finally decided on Tuesday to just get a new one. I thought I'd just walk in and replace what I already have. Um, not so much. Now, what I used to buy for $20 has a new fangled cell phone holder that added $15 to the price. Gulp! I got a Camelback variety this time, and I dig it.

So, that was Wednesday afternoon. On Thursday, we headed out early for a quick one with the pooch. It was unremarkable except for how pleasant the temperature felt for the end of June immediately following that heat wave! It was nice to take Elly. She does so like to run. She likes post-run love even more than that:

She'll live with her disappointment tomorrow, though, as we head out without her. I have a virtual medal to earn with her when Fall settles in and the temperatures are predictably cool. Until then, she just needs to cheer us at the finish!

So, it's a 6.2 morning ahead of us after today's rest-and-volleyball! Have a great start to your weekend, and we'll pop in after the morning run!

The Other Side

Today’s Numbers: Nancy's Total Movement Mileage: 418 (running: 344.6 walking: 34.8; biking: 36.2) Elly's miles: 180.3  Money Found For Food Bank: $55.03

Summer 2016 Ultimate Pool Volleyball Championship - Best of 101:

Me: 19 Pit Crew #2: 12

Pit Crew #2 and I ran yesterday thrilled to discover we are, indeed, still able to actually run. The weather was a smidge cooler than it has been, and the humidity wasn't thick enough to choke us. It was a relief! And, our bodies appreciated the cooperation from Mother Nature!

 

We made it up our first hill, and the breathless exchange went like this:

 

Me: "That was good. We needed that win."

PC#2: "Oh. I didn't feel it at all."

Me: (pause) "I said win. Not wind."

 

To that, she totally agreed!

 

It's not a bad thing to be in partnership where both struggle a bit. Even if we struggle in different ways, we still share the experience. The past couple of weeks have been trying at best in terms of accomplishing these runs, so, to come out on the other side together is a pretty awesome feeling!

 

Win, wind, tuh-may-toe, toe-mah-toe ... "Together" sounds the same no matter how you say it!

Rest today. Run tomorrow. Ba-da-bing! That's how we're rolling this week! We'll see you after we get it done!